Sunday, January 4, 2009

Babay, dont even think about it.

you worry about the wrong thangs.




i love kanyizzle.

i am out in public wearing my choir shoes and no bra.

i have not changed my clothes in three days.

i am out of cigarettes.

i am 18 in a month and ten days.

i worry about the wrong things.  well, at least according to kanye i do.

i forgot my nugget of lifeline at home.

i hate that smoking has become my lifeline. 
oh well, i'll go volcano with spencer after tutoring.

i am dirty.

i want a tarantula.

i am so grateful for the hold steady.

i think i want to try mushrooms.

i wish i had more than i do.

i want to have sex with at least 2 boys that are not my boyfriend.

i don't know what to think about that because i love having sex with my boyfriend.

i love my boyfriend, but wish he'd come to me.

i am ready to lose everything, i've expected it for so long.

i think the fact i'm not losing everything is what is making this so weird and hard.

i never want to see anyone in my life again. 

i rely on hating myself to fuel me forward.

i am emo.

i am grateful that only ingrid and colin might read this, because they don't judge me and i can be as whiny as doomsdaylike as i want.

i am also grateful to my shuffled itunes today, which seems to know exactly what i need.

i really want someone to take nude photos of me. i would be so up for that, a dark moody naked shoot.

i guess i really want someone to take pictures of me in any clothes. something about the disembodiment of the sexy confident person i become on film is comforting to be reminded of.

i'm cold.

i want my piercings. snakebites snakebites!

i want a rational sense of the concept "ok."


i think i'm done here.


i think i'd do anything to succeed.....


except fail.

1 comment:

Alessandro said...

interesting thought process love